With our first month as parents complete, now seems like a good point to summarize our experience. From the day Quynh began laboring until today here are the notable moments. There’s been little sleep, a few visits to the doctor, lots of pictures, and many firsts for us and Jackson.
It all started with an unscheduled trip to the maternity center because Quynh’s blood pressure was too high. Jackson at this moment was exactly 36 weeks, which is just one week from being considered full term. The doctors at the maternity center suggested for Quynh and Jackson’s health it would be best to induce labor as soon as possible. After being fully admitted into the hospital they started providing medicine to induce labor. After 24 hours of active labor Quynh’s obstetrician decided she was not progressing quickly enough to safely continue with vaginal delivery and Jackson’s delivery was going to be a C-Section. The surgery started shortly after we decided on proceeding with the C-Section and 39 hours after arriving at the hospital we met our baby boy for the first time. From my perspective, the whole process was a little shocking, because on one side of the operating room, I have my darling wife who appears to be in pain, and on the other, I have my newborn son who’s struggling to breathe for the first time. The pediatrician examining Jackson had to remind me more than once to take pictures and video, he said “you better get these photos now, he will only be born once.” Everything seemed to move so fast in those moments, one doctor and a couple of nurses relaying metrics about Jackson and noting them in his chart. When it was all over Quynh and Jackson made it through without any complications and Jackson was officially born on November 14th at 2 am.
At 9:30 AM on Jackson’s day of birth, I was woken up by several nurses checking Jackson’s blood sugar, which had dived, it was now too low for him to stay in the recovery room with us and he needed his own IV which won him a ticket to the NICU. After spending two nights and three days in the NICU Jackson had finally figured out how to eat and adequately maintain his blood sugar without IV nutrients. Next, we just needed to wait for Quynh’s blood pressure to normalize before we could all go home.
Three days after Jackson’s birth, Quynh’s blood pressure was adequately managed, Jackson was doing well, I had become proficient in some new skills (burping, feeding, swaddling, and changing diapers) and we were discharged from the hospital. It was our chance to try our new parenting skills without medical supervision. Everyone told us we wouldn’t be sleeping once Jackson was born... And everyone was right. I’m not sure parents to be can quite comprehend the strict dietary schedule of a newborn. You’ll read that they need to be fed every 2-3 hours in the beginning, but that 2-3 hours really means a maximum of 1-2 hours of sleep. Let me break it down, baby cries for mommy, start feeding, oh he fell asleep after 2-3 sips of milk. Well, he’s not really fed and once you move him he’s going to wake up looking for more mommy milk. So feeding is 15 minutes minimum and 30 to 45 minutes if they want to cuddle more than eat. If all goes well he’ll fall into a deep sleep in your arms, you’ll be able to burp him in about 5 minutes and put him down to sleep. Oh and now it’s time for mom to pump another 15 minutes. So best case he eats for 15 minutes, burps for 5, and mom pumps for 15, that’s 35 minutes. Well, your newly birthed alarm clock will be set to go off again 2-3 hours from the time you STARTED feeding him. For those doing the math, that’s a best-case of a little more than 2 hours sleep if you can fall asleep instantly and the worst case a little more than an hour. If he does for some reason sleep longer than 3 hours, you need to wake him up because he’s still too small to miss a meal especially when he’s had blood sugar issues a few days before. Fortunately, my mom was able to come to stay for the first week and provide free child care while we caught up on sleep during the day. Laundry, dishes, and trash all piles up fast in the first few weeks, and without her help, I’m not sure what our house would have looked like or what clothes Jackson would have been able to wear.
Eight days after birth, we received a call from the hospital informing us that our son had been exposed to a nurse in the NICU who had tested positive for the COVID. So, now our newborn needs to have his nose swabbed, a procedure most adults find irritating, I can only imagine what Jackson was thinking as they shoved a swab up his nose and to the back of his throat. Fortunately, it was negative, but it did highlight the risks a newborn will be exposed to every day. The first few weeks we would need to be cautious; therefore, we stayed home for Jackson’s first Thanksgiving.
Two ounces, three ounces, four, I’m sure he can drink more. The progression was fast, in the beginning, our goal was a little more than 10 ml the morning he was born, a couple of days later it was a 1 oz minimum before he could leave the NICU. Over the proceeding weeks, the amount he would drink would progressively increase. When he was born he weighed in at 6lbs 2oz, when we left the hospital he was 5lbs 13oz (we were informed this is a normal amount of weight loss after birth), and 3 weeks 5 days after birth he’s topping 8lbs. In 22 days he gained 35oz, if I didn’t know better I’d say he had a drinking problem. He’s outgrown his newborn diapers (parents to be, don’t stock up on these, they have limited use). Most of his newborn clothes are fitting snug and it's starting to be too small to dress him in them. We’ve gone through about 1000 wet wipes and more than 230 diapers, if you’re reading this and expecting your first baby, these numbers are not inflated.
Here are some guidelines for quantities of certain essentials new parents need to purchase:
- No more than 2 boxes of newborn diapers you can always buy more. (we bought too many of these and probably have 70 or more left)
- An accurate underarm thermometer, maybe 2 just in case, the forehead kind are not very accurate for newborns.
- A few thousand wet wipes
- Bottles, buy extra unless you don’t mind stumbling to the kitchen to wash a bottle at 4 am. we have probably 10 bottles at this point. My current favorite bottles have drop-in liners (meaning the only part that needs to be thoroughly cleaned is the nipple) but also realize most newborn bottles have a max capacity of 4-5 oz, which your newborn will start outgrow after the first month. (Jackson has drunk 5oz in single feeding in the past week).
- Extra breast pump parts and make sure the breast pump is portable. We have 6 complete sets of flanges, milk bottles, and valves. Having to wash these in the middle of the night was a pain.
- If planning to breastfeed exclusively, it might be a good idea to get a separate mini-fridge and freezer. There are lots of guidelines on storing milk, most of which will hamper the use of your normal kitchen refrigerator.
- Clothes, burp towels, swaddle blankets, etc. depends on how often you want to do laundry.
There are many more things you will purchase probably from Amazon because you will not have time to run to the store. So make sure you buy a box cutter for easily dismantling all the Amazon shipping boxes.
At 3 weeks 4 days Jackson became fussy and started to spit up more than usual right after eating. We checked his temperature (with 3 different thermometers) and he had a slight fever of 99.7, the pediatric advise nurse recommended a visit to children’s urgent care, not because of the fever but because he had started to spit up his milk after most feedings. The first trip to the doctor was eventful, they needed blood, they needed urine, and they needed vitals. These things are basic for an adult, but for a newborn, it means a catheter and many needles pokes in the hand because they have small hard to poke veins. In the end, we were allowed to go home because his temperature had not reached the important 100.4 F threshold for babies less than one month old. The following day we monitored his temperature and at about midnight it spiked passed 100.4, making it time for our first ER visit for Jackson. Now that his temperature passed the threshold, they needed to collect spinal fluid, provide IV antibiotics, and monitor him for 36 to 48 hours. They had to stick his hand 6 times to finally hit a vein, 3 different nurses tried and we were in the ER for about 2 hours before they succeeded. I learned that at Jackson’s young age, sugar water can be used to block the sensation of pain, which is great when you’re being poked repeatedly. Our next few days were reminiscent of his first few: Sitting in the hospital waiting and sleeping between feedings. The results of his blood, urine, and spinal fluid tests we all clear of any bacterial infection and their diagnosis was a viral infection (not COVID or the flu).
Jackson’s first 30 days have been exciting and tiring. My sleep schedule is not really a schedule at all and I am not even sure when Quynh sleeps anymore. Quynh is producing lots of milk, mostly from one side of her body. Quynh and I are looking forward to what’s coming in the following months (more sleep for example and other things) and we’ll keep updating this blog. Thanks for reading.
